Whatever the weather, Duck Soup will be celebrating being single in the New Year on Sunday 1 January at 623 In The City from 7.30pm.

If you had a fabulous New Year’s Eve party, hopefully you’ll recover during new year’s day and top it off with some quiet conversations with new friends at Duck Soup.

If you didn’t choose to see in the New Year with friends, how about stepping out in your glad rags on the first of January and celebrate the New Year with us!

Relationships, as we all know, can be very trying at times. And when the number of trying times becomes “always,” mounting resentment, unhappiness and low self-esteem result in a break-up… or should. This is the time when being unattached is a good thing. Being single can be a status worth celebrating.

Click here for nine reasons to celebrate being single in 2012!

See you on Sunday and Happy New Year!

Sunday 4 December (from 7.30pm at 623 In The City) will be the last Duck Soup networking night for the year!  I hope you’ve got some fun summer plans happening with your other single friends…. if not, come along tonight prepared to hand out your phone number or email address to ensure you’re invited to some events, bbqs and parties..

Dating is one of the best friend finders there is. I read recently some advice from an elder statesman who said that we should all try and make one new friend every five years. What excellent advice. When we are very young we collect friends like sweets. As we get older we lose some along the way kind of like natural wastage. We fall out and we fall in, we change and adapt and we end up with a core group of our best friends, usually quite small but reliable and close. I think its fair to say that most of us will never have more than a handful of extremely close friends as we grow older simply because its not possible to have very close relationships with so many people. Best friends require maintenance.

Where dating comes into its own is in it’s simplest form – introducing us to new people. We meet on a one-to-one basis to chat and discuss and basically find out if we get get on well enough to become friends. Dating often misses out on this aspect, the fact that to become lovers we should become friends too. It’s not just about if we are attracted to their hair, face, breasts, legs etc. It’s about how we get on, what we have in common, if we share the same belief systems, skills, laughs, humor, outlook, background and passions. If we do then this may well be the very basis for a great relationship.

If that certain X factor is missing we often discount the whole deal as if to say well they weren’t good enough to date so I will discount them completely. What we are missing here is the fact that in every other way we got on. We made a new friend. Then people will say, yes but I am not looking for another friend. Well let me tell you my friend, we can all do with extra friends. Yes, okay, our closest friends are often our longest friends who we have shared everything with, but there may have been a time when we didn’t know them either so who is to say. My point is, nice people are hard to find so let us not just discount people because they fell at the first hurdle.

I am not suggesting that we gather every failed date as out next new closest buddy. I am suggesting that amongst all the people you do date, there will be one of two people who may not be your ideal match, but who could be your ideal friend. So try and keep an open mind. Maybe you can suggest that although you don’t feel you would make it as a couple you would like to stay in touch and then actually do get in touch to do something. Make sure you have defined this as a fact and are clear though and don’t string someone along and have them thinking there is some romance in the air.

We must try and remember that one of the best facets of any perfect match is friendship. People often say that they would like to marry their best friend. In other words, your partner should also be your best friend. What we mean but that is that the concept of “best friend” means the person we can rely on, trust in full measure, turn to when in need and talk to about everything in the world. It is a beautiful notion and one that should be kept in mind.

Really, dating is all about making friends and then loving them even more than that. It is about forming close bonds in a fairly short space of time and then building upon them. This is why a purely sex or physical relationship doesn’t often hold much long terms hope. It is surprising how many good friends also become lovers too. I have read some good true stories about people who had been best friends and went on to get married.

I think these days that dating has become such a clinical and organized subject that the basic elements are in danger of being lost. To love someone you have to trust them. To trust them you need to open your heart to them very early on and take the risk included. Opening your heart means a willingness to trust. It is a willingness to make that person your friend. Trust and friendship are the building blocks of every proper relationship and therefore there are no quick paths to eternal happiness. Date and find a friend. Make friends and then fall in love.

Source: http://www.topdatingtips.com/making-friends.htm

Have a read here:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/nelson-mail/features/weekend/6040331/Love-bytes

Here is the snippet about Duck Soup:

In 2008, fed up with online dating, Nelson woman Adrienne Ford started a social group for singles aged over 30.

Duck Soup makes the internet dating experience more “efficient”, she says. A single mum, it took her too long to find, message and meet potential matches, and the usual blind coffee date required a heap of self-esteem and self-confidence, often ending in disappointment.

Duck Soup has been a success. Between 60 and 100 unattached Nelsonians turn up regularly to social events in the city on the first Sunday of each month, and Ms Ford also arranges activities like dessert nights, meeting at local events and festivals, and going on trips.

Although some are there simply to make new friends, about half of her attendees have tried internet dating.

She encourages daters to use a Duck Soup event as their first “offline” meeting place.

“Online dating is good, but real-life meeting early on is a good augmentation to online dating,” she says. “It’s crucial.”

At some point, you still have to get offline and do it the old-fashioned way.

For all those new to Duck Soup and willing to give it a try – see you on Sunday 4 December at 623 In The City from 7.30pm.  Come and meet me on the door and I’ll give you a name-tag and introduce you to someone friendly who’ll start off your night of networking.

We went offroading on 50cc scooters between Picton & Greymouth – totally out of my comfort zone but a fabulous opportunity to meet new friends and get to know others a little better.  The two Duck Soup guys I invited had a brilliant time and are both keen to do it all again next year.

I don’t think it matters WHAT the event is – it could be as simple as a movie or dinner – or more complicated (and expensive!) like the offroading challenge… the point is I did it and the social relationships I invested in really paid off.

Perhaps you could venture a little further than your normal social comfort zone and try something new….. check out www.itson.co.nz to see if an event takes your fancy and then start asking around for like-minded people to join you….

SINGLE and over 30? Celebrate being single at Duck Soup on the first Sunday of every month and meet new friends.

Join us at 623 In The City for non-profit, no fees, no cover charge, no matchmaking, no pressure – just friendly networking with 100+ other singles over 30 in Nelson. Sign up for event emails on the right –> or call Adrienne 544-2088.

As you know – I’m not encouraging you to find someone to date at Duck Soup….. I believe Duck Soup is an opportunity better suited to practicing talking to strangers and getting familiar with meeting new people than finding a date.  However, when you DO find someone with whom the conversation flows and you have a smile on your face….. please give them your contact details and plan to do something social SOON (regardless of age/gender/location etc) to maximise the meeting.  This way you’ll be out having fun and are BOUND to start meeting lots and lots more people – including a possible romantic prospect (if that’s your objective).

Looking forward to see you again at Duck Soup – and I’m also looking forward to meeting the new people coming along for the first time.

623 In The City is showing the 3.30pm All Blacks game live on the big screen on Sunday 2 October.   Consider coming out early for the game, have some dinner, then stay to network at Duck Soup.  If you have the contact details of someone you’ve met at Duck Soup – this could be the time to give them a call/txt and see if they can join you!

Adrienne, Mixologist
Duck Soup