Dating Lessons for Singles from The Royal Wedding Courtship of Prince William and Kate Middleton (Source: by APRIL BRASWELL)

The eyes of the world are upon Prince William and his bride Kate Middleton as they take their nuptial vows at Westminster for all to be their witness. With Prince William getting married, some single women’s dream of marrying a prince will be put to rest. Prince William weds a commoner while, despite some common faulty recollections, his mother was of the aristocracy. Princess Diana had been born Lady Diana Spencer. He breaks with the tradition only last upheld by his father, Prince Charles, in marrying Kate.

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Girls are like
apples on trees. The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who’s brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.

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Imagine a pretty successful and quite attractive woman in her mid-30s. Her business is thriving, and she has no children yet, so she can afford to do a lot of great things like travel etc. But like many women her age — she is focused on one thing. Love. Marriage. Children. Love! Marriage! Children!

She goes through men quickly. One after another usually hurting her in some way. Cheating. Lying. Using her for money. Or simply running from the pressure. The pressure of being the object of her desires.

Finally she meets a new one who seems to have promise. He’s artistic – a writer. And he’s pretty successful at making a living at it. Even better! He also was a “friend” who quickly became a lover after announcing a separation from his wife of 9 years.

So I pose the question. Is it good for you if you are dating a recently separated man?

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I’ve had a few people ring me in the past week asking about the requirements to come along to Duck Soup.

If it’s your first time coming along, please know that the room will be full of friendly people and you will never be left standing alone. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself – it’s just a bunch of strangers who are all single like you. Have a chat to a few of them and you’ll soon find yourself relaxing into it.

This is an opportunity to practice your social skills. Keep in touch with the art of conversation so you are more approachable in your every day life. Once you are less intimidated by the process, you’ll benefit even more by starting to hand out your phone number or email address to those people you enjoy talking to…. get to know them a little better over time by arranging (or accepting invitations to) some social outings to keep the momentum going.

Keep ‘interviewing’ new people for the position of your ‘friend’ and start inviting prospective people out to different activities or events – a movie, coffee, tennis, beach walk, festival, concert – whatever. Introduce your new single friends to your existing single friends to keep the networking happening. As time goes on, you’ll find yourself cultivating some great friendships and others may fall by the wayside as you discover more about them.

Give people a chance – sometimes it takes a few weeks to see the authentic personality under the facade. Try not to jump into relationships – taking the time to work out the compatibility prospects will save time in the long run…. perhaps skip the dating altogether and work on establishing some strong friendship groups where you will have more success in growing real friends from which a relationship may develop organically. Chemistry is over-rated – grow up and give yourself a shake – work on gaining good friends and let relationships happen naturally once you’ve spent some time as friends.

Believe me, I hear ALL the stories about sex on the first date and most regret it – mainly because they feel embarrassed about coming back to Duck Soup to meet more people! Don’t limit a great source of potential friendships by giving in to some short-lived chemistry and ignoring the compatibility issues that are bound to appear. Give that person some time to get to know the complex person that is YOU before making things more complicated!

See you tonight at Duck Soup from 7.30pm at 623 In The City for the opportunity to meet a new friend…..

Adrienne
Mixologist
Duck Soup

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Kiwi singles flock to internet after Royal Wedding confirmed. The news that Prince William is to marry Kate Middleton appears to have spurred New Zealand singles to action, with Trade Me’s dating site www.findsomeone.co.nz experiencing record levels of activity.  The past three days has seen 46,336 personal messages sent on Findsomeone, a 27% increase. Meanwhile the sending of flirtatious smiles on the site has also stepped up, increasing 16% to 14,710 since Tuesday.  <read more>

I must admit, I was one of the statistics who jumped on Find Someone and sent a few smiles after hearing the news.  I’m not on there every day so need to remind myself to keep my profile ticking along in the background and hoping for a message now and then!

If you are internet dating, please consider a great photo to be a distinct advantage to getting noticed online.  You don’t need a glamour shot, just something recent that shows you at your best….. without being dishonest.  I often recommend getting a photo of you doing an activity you love (along with your headshot) – it can be an ice-breaker on which to comment – and allows people to visually picture one of your interests.

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