Come along and join us for a roast turkey dinner with pumpkin pie dessert for $19 from 6.30pm before chatting with others in the same stage of life as you from 7.30pm.

Non-profit, no fees, no cover charge, no matchmaking, no pressure – just friendly networking with 100+ other singles over 30 in Nelson.

Some nights there are more ‘younger’ singles and some nights more ‘older’ singles – it’s never the same mix and we ALWAYS have new people coming along. You won’t necessarily find your soulmate at Duck Soup (although many have) – but you’ll DEFINITELY find friends you will connect with and enrich your social life. Build a new group of friends at Duck Soup.

Join us for a delicious roast beef dinner with yorkshire pudding beforehand for only $10…. please let me know and I’ll make sure there are enough seats at the table. Mike is closing off the upstairs as our private dining room after we had over 50 people deciding to eat dinner last month.

May’s networking event will be early next month – so please add Sunday 2 May to your calendar. As it’s getting cooler, 623 are starting their $10 Classic Kiwi Sunday Roasts again. Duck Soup will have a table from 7pm for you to join in and have dinner before we start networking. Look for the Duck Soup table sign – or if you’re super organised, call beforehand to book in on 548 6230.

Next month Duck Soup is promoting an event on Saturday 15 May which will start around 4pm and include dinner. Please block out this time in your calendar and forward to any of your friends that came along to the Dusk Till Dawn event.

Finally, I’m interested in hearing from any single mums with preschoolers or babies at home…. please email me for more information.

I’ll write again soon!
Adrienne Ford
544-2088
www.ducksoup.co.nz

Some advice for the guys this time – how exactly do you go up to someone you’ve never seen before and start a conversation with them? The first thing to realize is that you’re not really having a problem with TALKING. What you’ve got is a problem with REJECTION.

Think about it for a second: When you meet people at a party, and some guy walks up to you and says “Hi”, I’m sure it’s not a scary situation. I bet you can find something to say, and the conversation probably flows fairly easily. There’s no real self-consciousness or weirdness.

But change that guy into a woman, and then add in your expectations and fears, and that will make your conversation mechanism seal up tighter than Fort Knox.

There’s nothing wrong with this. In fact, it’s probably the most common affliction guys have. And it can also be overcome fairly easily. The key to this scenario is to stop thinking of women in quite the same way you have been, and then to prepare in advance for the situation.

First of all, it’s a common situation for guys to put women on a pedestal. They all too often believe that women are these fragile, delicate creatures that hold an awesome power over them. And it’s just not true.

You see, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. You’re bound to have anxiety and stress, which is going to make you tense up when you need to be your most relaxed. Women can sense when you’re in “nervous talk” mode, and while they may have a little sympathy early on, it’s not a good thing overall.

Take a moment to realise that a woman’s opinion of you will not crush you or socially embarrass you. There have been plenty of women in the past that you weren’t successful with, and you survived, didn’t you? So remember that the pressure of getting her to like you comes from believing that her opinion of you is somehow more important than your own.

Then, accept that you’re going to have to prepare a little in advance if you want to feel confident going in. You’d never see a football team take the field that hadn’t at least gone through training for a few months prior to the season starting.

Take a few moments before Duck Soup and plan out a few good conversations in advance. Not word-for-word, mind you, but come up with some fun topics that would be interesting for you and a woman to chat about. Something like the cost of Rugby World Cup tickets, or where to shop for your sister’s birthday present.

Next, plan out a few low-risk introductions to get it started.

Something as simple as: “Hi, I’m Mark. I’m just meeting new people today, and you seem like an interesting person. What’s your story?”

Or start out by noticing a piece of jewellry or item of clothing she’s wearing and go from there.

The art of small talk is actually easy if you can relax first, and then have a few rounds of ammo in your conversational rifle in advance. Having the ammo keeps you calm so you can have a steady aim.

Then all you have to do is fire and bring her down.

Duck Soup kick-off is 7.30pm with name-tags and mingling – challenge yourself to offer your phone number if you are having a great conversation.

623 In The City on Hardy Street from 7.30pm on Easter Sunday 4 April, 2010.

Don’t be too scared of turning up and getting a feel for the group. You’ll be pleasently surprised that everyone is friendly and respectful and more than likely you’ll already know someone in the room.

Over 73 singles living in Nelson and surrounding areas attended last month and of that number, 26 were there for the first time and ‘checking things out’.

You are never asked for an entry fee, donation or your contact details – so it’s a non-threatening way to meet people in the same stage of life as you.  You will need to pluck up enough courage to talk about yourself with strangers and that might take some preparation…. come up with a simple list in your mind of the topics you LOVE talking about and steer your new ‘friend’ into one by asking a relevant question.

Don’t forget though – not everyone at Duck Soup is looking for a relationship.  Most are there to connect with other singles in a social setting and hopefully increase their own circle of friends.  You are welcome to hand out your phone number or email address to someone you’d like to meet up with again – just don’t be offended if they don’t call and keep trying!

I’ll see you at 623 In The City in Hardy Street from 7.30pm on Sunday 7 March – and bring along your free drink voucher if you attended in February.