Dating Advice for Separated Men Is Problematic

| July 2, 2009 3:40 pm

Giving dating advice for separated men can get dicey, especially since the term “separated” means different things to different people. The situation is rife with extra legal and emotional ramifications, so be sure you’ve really thought it through before dating if you are a separated man. I’ve put together some dating advice for separated men that will help you put things in the right perspective.

Where are You in the Separation Process?
Before you begin thinking about dating, take a moment to think about where you actually are in the separation process. Is this a trial separation with you and your wife trying to reconcile? If so, dating may not be advisable unless you’ve both agreed that you can try dating. Doing so behind your wife’s back while separated almost guarantees that you’ll never reconcile, and it will make your divorce uglier than it would have been had you waited.

Be Honest with Your Children
Dating advice for separated men that’s honest and accurate is even more important if you have children, so I got some advice from divorced men who’ve “been there and done that.” Do not date behind your children’s backs or expect them to keep secrets from their mother! This will cause resentment and anger. If they are old enough, be honest about the fact that their parents are definitely separating and that you are seeking new friendships. Don’t push them into getting to know your date or anyone new in your life, though, until after the divorce is final.

Be Honest with Yourself
Take my advice: be honest with yourself about why you’re dating. Are you are a separated man dating women just to get back at your wife? Lousy reason! This kind of emotional abuse never pays. Are you just dating for the heck of it, jumping from woman to woman to fill empty evenings? This may be a red flag that you aren’t emotionally ready to begin dating. As a separated man you should ask yourself if you’re really over the demise of your marriage and whether or not you are happy with yourself (if you aren’t happy within yourself, you won’t find it in someone else).

Be Honest with Your Date
If you’re sure you’re ready to date, take the most important advice for a separated man that I can give – be honest! Don’t tell someone you are dating that you are already divorced. If the relationship goes anywhere, she will eventually have to know the truth, at which point she’ll probably leave because you’ve proven dishonest. Starting again means starting the right way!

The best dating advice for separated men I can give is to be brutally honest about everything – why you’re dating, whether you’re ready for it and what you want out of a new relationship. If you can answer those questions honestly and feel you are ready – go for it!

Source: dating-site-advisor.com

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