I received a call from an out-of-town friend of my parents looking for their number. I quickly learned that her situation had drastically changed after I asked about her partner. She was literally devastated by the betrayal and abandonment of her husband of 18 years and found it really difficult to be positive at all. However, because she is very intelligent and driven, she knows she needs to get back out there into the world and start to network with others and make new friends – if only to find a job at 50+ years old! She was really interested in the Duck Soup concept and was determined to discover if there is something similar in her city.

However, it struck me that this woman was still incredibly raw with emotion from her break-up and would likely be hesitant and hurt whilst trying to mingle with new people. I wondered how many people were also in a similar situation at our Duck Soup networking nights. People still bleeding from their own betrayals and very reluctant to repeat the same mistakes they made but bravely putting on a facade to increase their changes at finding a light in the dark tunnel of their life. This revelation made me instantly more empathetic to the new people I meet at Duck Soup. Although they are driven to begin their new life alone, they are not 100% healed (are we ever?) and therefore require gentle handling in these social situations.

My message is for those of us with more healing time, thicker skin, or just the ability to see the silver lining and bounce back a little quicker than others – we never really know what’s going on in another’s life so being kind, considerate, compassionate and uplifting may be the difference that person needs to feel less like the world is crashing in on them.

You will make a difference at Duck Soup by reaching out and interacting with a stranger. I’ve had many conversations (some with unlikely people!) where I’ve had a glimmer of hope or a stirring of anticipation for the wonderful future that’s out there for me. I especially love hearing about those people who have found a new partner and discover they are lovable and desired again….

Please pass on this invitation to a friend of yours who has met someone at Duck Soup and is enjoying a relationship with them to email me at mix@ducksoup.co.nz for an article in a local magazine. They won’t need to use their real name, but participating will most likely give increased hope to readers that the raw emotion will eventually heal and stability will occur again.

See you on Father’s Day next week!  Sign up here.
Adrienne, Mixologist

Categories: Dating Tips
1 Comment »