…then sleep in on Monday morning!

Some advice for the guys this time – how exactly do you go up to someone you’ve never seen before and start a conversation with them? The first thing to realize is that you’re not really having a problem with TALKING. What you’ve got is a problem with REJECTION.

Think about it for a second: When you meet people at a party, and some guy walks up to you and says “Hi”, I’m sure it’s not a scary situation. I bet you can find something to say, and the conversation probably flows fairly easily. There’s no real self-consciousness or weirdness.

But change that guy into a woman, and then add in your expectations and fears, and that will make your conversation mechanism seal up tighter than Fort Knox.

There’s nothing wrong with this. In fact, it’s probably the most common affliction guys have. And it can also be overcome fairly easily. The key to this scenario is to stop thinking of women in quite the same way you have been, and then to prepare in advance for the situation.

First of all, it’s a common situation for guys to put women on a pedestal. They all too often believe that women are these fragile, delicate creatures that hold an awesome power over them. And it’s just not true.

You see, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to perform. You’re bound to have anxiety and stress, which is going to make you tense up when you need to be your most relaxed. Women can sense when you’re in “nervous talk” mode, and while they may have a little sympathy early on, it’s not a good thing overall.

Take a moment to realise that a woman’s opinion of you will not crush you or socially embarrass you. There have been plenty of women in the past that you weren’t successful with, and you survived, didn’t you? So remember that the pressure of getting her to like you comes from believing that her opinion of you is somehow more important than your own.

Then, accept that you’re going to have to prepare a little in advance if you want to feel confident going in. You’d never see a football team take the field that hadn’t at least gone through training for a few months prior to the season starting.

Take a few moments before Duck Soup and plan out a few good conversations in advance. Not word-for-word, mind you, but come up with some fun topics that would be interesting for you and a woman to chat about. Something like the cost of Rugby World Cup tickets, or where to shop for your sister’s birthday present.

Next, plan out a few low-risk introductions to get it started.

Something as simple as: “Hi, I’m Mark. I’m just meeting new people today, and you seem like an interesting person. What’s your story?”

Or start out by noticing a piece of jewellry or item of clothing she’s wearing and go from there.

The art of small talk is actually easy if you can relax first, and then have a few rounds of ammo in your conversational rifle in advance. Having the ammo keeps you calm so you can have a steady aim.

Then all you have to do is fire and bring her down.

Duck Soup kick-off is 7.30pm with name-tags and mingling – challenge yourself to offer your phone number if you are having a great conversation.

Categories: Dating Tips, Monthly Mingle
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