Whether you’re newly single or still on the search for Mister Right, there are a few things you should know to stop you from ending up on a string of cringe-worthy dates.

Dating expert, Jane Hoskyn, has put together her top 25 tips for getting dates, how to act on your date, and how to turn a few pleasant nights out into something more long-lasting. And once you’re done and all clued up, why not sign up to our goodtoknow dating club – there’s no time like the present!

Part 1: Online Dating

1. Read lots of profiles before writing your own

Browse the profiles of people you’d like to date – it gives you a sense of what they’re looking for. Also browse profiles written by members of your own sex, so that you can see what works and what doesn’t.

2. Never post a profile without a photo

People will assume you’re ugly or married, and they won’t give your poetic words the time of day. Also be careful not to post a photo that’s too flattering. You don’t want to disappoint them in the flesh.

3. Be honest about your age

Fibbing is pointless if you’d like a relationship. They’ll soon wonder what else you were lying about.

4. Be confident

You have to like yourself before someone else can like you. Putting yourself down is funny in small doses but it can be a turn-off. Focus on your good points, but don’t be arrogant.

5. Don’t criticise your audience

Writing ‘no more losers, please’ makes you sound bitter and unfriendly.

6. How to turn someone down

Be respectful but firm. Don’t offer to stay in touch as friends, unless you genuinely want to. Also avoid the excuse: ‘I’m not ready to date anyone right now,’ because it offers false hope.

7. Try someone who’s not your type

Many of us continually date the same type of person without realising it. Control freaks, slobs, commitment-phobes, needy types – we keep going back for more. Go for someone completely different, and you may be surprised by the result.

8. If you want to meet, do it soon

Once you’ve swapped a few flirtatious emails and you both want to meet up, arrange a date. If you let your emails drag on for weeks, you risk getting attached to someone with whom you’re just not compatible in real life.

Part 2: On the date

9. Keep it simple

Forget about organising a joint skydive for your first date, or even a candlelit dinner. A first date should be informal and easy on the pocket, or you risk looking over-keen. The pub is perfect. If the chemistry isn’t there, it’s easy to make your excuses after a couple of drinks.

10. Don’t expect too much

You’re meeting a stranger. The chances of only one (or neither) of you fancying the other are huge. So don’t fantasise too much, or you’ll set yourself up for disappointment.

11. Don’t be afraid to cancel

But do follow the dental appointment principle – cancel at least 24 hours beforehand. Drop them a note to say that things have changed for you and you don’t want to waste their time.

12. How to dress for a date

People base impressions on how you’re turned out, whether it’s a job interview, the red carpet or a first date. Making an effort shows manners.

13. Body language speaks volumes

When you’re trying to impress, pay close attention to the way you move. Hold your companion’s gaze while they speak, and subtly mirror their posture. Lean slightly towards them to show interest, and keep your lips and facial muscles relaxed.

14. Learn to read their body language

If your date smiles, widens their eyes, meets your gaze and leans in, they’re engaged and comfortable. If they’re leaning back, looking around or hugging themselves, they’re bored – and you need to up your game.

15. Good talking is all about listening

When you’re nervous on a date (which you will be), your babble-demon can take over. Instead, listen. It will make you look thoughtful and attentive, and you’ll find out more about what makes your date tick.

16. Don’t discuss other dates

If your companion asks: ‘have you been on many dates recently?’, just say: ‘I’ve met some interesting people’ and don’t dwell on the subject. Don’t criticise previous dates – you’ll look unkind.

17. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not

If you’re a meat-and-two-veg type and your date is a veggie, don’t pretend to be a lentil-picker just to impress them. The world is full of happy couples who like different things and have different habits.

Part 3: Finding and keeping love

18. Playing hard to get doesn’t work

If you don’t want a second date, don’t pretend otherwise. But if you would like a second date, say so – if you don’t ask, you don’t get. Most people would be flattered by your attention. However, don’t be clingy. If you act as though you’d be devastated if they say no, they may decide that you’re too needy.

19. It takes time to find the right person

It can feel crushing to have yet another not-quite-right date. Don’t lose hope. Most people kiss a lot of frogs before they find their prince or princess. Enjoy your chance to meet lots of people without enduring the ups and downs of a relationship!

20. Age is just a number

If there’s a sizeable age gap between you and your new partner, try not to take any comments to heart. Old stereotypes die hard, but gossip generally fades as the novelty dies. Show friends and family that you’re perfectly suited, and the age issue will soon seem irrelevant.

21. How to handle long-distance love

A long-distance relationship can last if you follow certain ground rules. First, you must show and earn trust in each other. Communication is another key. Try not to let more than a day go by without contact. It’s the everyday details that make you feel part of each other’s lives.

22. When to say ‘I love you’

You may be bursting to say it on your second date, but hold your horses. Leave it for three months. By this time, you know that it’s not just a fling. The longer you wait, the more your partner knows that you mean it.

23. How to dump someone the nice way

First, get on with it. If you’re sure you want out of a relationship, don’t string them along. Do it face to face, and try to deliver the news at their place. Thank them for the good times, and show sensitivity for their feelings.

24. How to get over being dumped

Talk talk talk to friends, and don’t feel guilty about it. Write a letter to your ex, saying exactly what you think of them – but don’t send it. Burn it with a friend. Your time is now your own, so embrace your freedom to get stuff done.

25. Don’t jump from one relationship to the next

After a break-up it’s important to spend time alone and with friends. Only when you’ve reached a point where you’re happy alone are you really ready to meet someone new.

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